12 February 2017


 "Perhaps the easiest people to fall in love with are those about whom we know nothing. Romances are never as pure as those we imagine during long train journeys.Alain de Bottom, On Love.

It should be noted whilst you read this luuvv post, that I have a realist (if not cynical) opinion and yes, you can put that on my tombstone. 

I don't know everything, surprisingly. What I do know is that exciting, electric LOVE only physically exists in books, old films and photographs. It does however float around like a ghost in your most prized memories, and it exists in your thoughts about the future. This sort of love is actually LUST and DESIRE dressed up in love’s clothing. It’s an ideology and a powerful concept but nothing more. 

100% genuine LOVE only shows it’s semi attractive/ average looking face, when you start to encounter resilience with someone. It can be with anyone, not just your partner. It’s tolerance, trust and overcoming obstacles - to be quite frank, it's being able to show your most ugliest self to someone and then get away with it with no judgement. I see this genuine breed of love as a universal energy. It’ll be sure to influence your decisions and bring you closer together. 

Then there is HEARTBREAK and you can experience heartbreak as a byproduct from both lust and love. In my recent few years, I’ve undergone some heartbreak. I’ll hold my hand up to two examples, and we’ll forget the rest. One was particularly torturous because in happened where I live. The lust/love was unrequited and for some reason unbeknown to myself, I kept hanging on in there, holding out hope as I figured it could still work out. I found the answer 'no' hard to accept, cried an awful lot, lost my appetite for months and altogether took the rejection very badly. 

The other most recent time wasn’t so torturous, oh no. No it was only... FUCKING HORRENDOUS. And to this day I'm still not too sure on the ins and outs, because I was stuffed back on a aeroplane back to London. I had no time to get my knickers out of the tumble dryer, let alone realise what was really happening. All I did know, was that it was done as the Atlantic Ocean was between us. It was dead in the dirt. Dead as a dodo. I didn't cry too much this time, was that because I knew there was no dancing glimmer of hope with this one? The ‘loss of appetite’ didn’t come included with this heartbreak package, in fact I did the opposite and I ate loads instead, making all my jeans work extra hard for me. But on a positive note, I had a lot of left over energy. I learnt to harness the heartbreak and generate it into a positive fuel. Training it into confidence, focusing on myself and work etc. 

So it's fair to say I was in emotional pain with both of these loveless chapters but the difference between the two situations (skinny ass and fat ass aside) was that one was doused with hope, while the other simply was not. The first instance, 'hope' acted as an assailant to further my sadness whereas in my second instance when hope was annihilated it forced me to accept the situation at hand. 

If you're currently undergoing some heartbreak, don't fret and it definitely will not last forever. It all comes full circle my friend so don't you worry about that. Toughen up cowgirl - hard, old boots are so in anyway. 

So there you have it, my opinion of Lust, Love and Heartbreak. But if you're still yearning for something that's unbreakable, forever faithful and and a kind of love that's rough round the edges, then go to the vintage store and buy yourself some vintage denim jeans. They'll never break your heart. Look at these photographs as evidence. I had to do my vintage 501s up with a wrench, and the only pinches my bum will be receiving this Valentine's day will be from these loyal guys. 

Shaggy Red Wine Jacket from Pretty Little Thing. Vintage Levi 501s. Wide Brim Fedora from Melrose Ave, Los Angeles.'Winding Road' Boots by Free People. Hand Embroidered Ribbon Choker by Abbie Walsh Accessories. 

Photoset by Hannah Mae Clarke

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